Dealing with a guy who’s a little more than a friend but not exactly a boyfriend can be more than confusing because you have no commitments and thus, no obligations to each other. Navigating through a flirtationship -- a situation where you flirt and have special feelings for a friend but do nothing more -- is no easy feat. Feelings can get hurt, and friendships can be damaged. Read on for some information on how to safely handle your flirtationship!

Take stock
Evaluate the situation. There is nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting here and there. It’s perfectly healthy, especially when you’re in college. If you and your guy friend are content with the occasional kiss on the cheek or going for a hand-held walk through the park without crossing any lines, then good for you! It can be nice to have that type of affection without having to commit to a serious relationship. What’s most important is that the two of you are on the same page.

What should you do when you realize that you want more than a flirtationship? You can either tell your friend that you have a bit of a crush on him or you can keep it to yourself. Both scenarios have pros and cons. If you tell him and discover that he feels the same way, you’ve opened the door to what could grow into a wonderful relationship. On the other hand, if he doesn’t feel the same way, it could be awkward or tense. If you don’t tell him, you protect yourself from a possible embarrassing scenario. However, you could possibly be cheating yourself out of a great situation due to your own fear. Either way, you’re taking a substantial risk, so it’s something to think about.

What if he wants more?
It can be equally weird if your guy expresses romantic feelings for you, but you don’t exactly feel the same way. In situations such as these, it’s best to be as straightforward as possible. Try to steer clear of telling him how it’s not him, it’s you or declaring how at some point he’ll meet a girl that’s perfect for him. Although you may think you’re being comforting, after being rejected, your guy might feel as though he’s being patronized. Let him know that while you think he’s great, you simply don’t view him in a romantic way. Give him some time to process. If you two are able to return to your friendship after that, stay away from the physical affection, as it might lead to confusion and him feeling led on.

Friendships with guys are always tricky. As much as we’d like to believe that we could be strictly platonic with the opposite sex, the lines always seem to blur. Having a flirtationship is dicey, so it’s important to stay on the same page and keep the lines of communication open and clear. Doing this will protect you, your guy and the friendship that the two of you share.

By: Adjoa Bruce | Image: Source

College is a time for new beginnings. For most, it’s the first time living independently. Living in a new city, surrounded by new people and confronted with new adventures can be overwhelming, and a tad scary, but fun. One of the biggest conflicts college freshmen face involves the first semester relationship. I find there are typically two personality types concerning college relationships. I like to call them the “jumper” and the “flyer.” The jumper, true to the name, jumps into a relationship with the first person that shows interest and is more or less a serial dater. The flyer likes to be fly solo and embrace her single status. Although there are definite pros and cons to each situation, there are more than a few reasons why being a flyer is in your best interest when you’re just starting your college career.

You just got there
Slow down there, champ. There’s absolutely no reason to jump into a relationship during your first few weeks in college. You’ve just arrived, and now’s the time to get acclimated to your new home, find your groove in your courses and determine the extracurricular activities in which you’d like to become involved. It’s quite probable that you’ll come across some cute guys -- here’s hoping, at least -- and you should most definitely have fun and make some memories. But when it comes to a serious, monogamous, intense relationship, it might be better to pace yourself.

You don’t know who you are yet
At the risk of sounding cliché, college is the time to find yourself. When you’ve just started college, you’re likely not really sure who you are yet. And that’s okay! What’s not okay is involving someone else in your self-awareness journey. There’s no need to drag someone else into the mix when you’re still something of a hot mess.

It’s not necessary
To be perfectly frank, you just don’t need to be in a relationship at such a young age. It can be distracting and confusing. Furthermore, in your late teens/early 20s, you or a partner may not be emotionally mature enough to be in a serious romantic situation. Don’t waste your time and energy or that of your partner.

Now, you shouldn’t walk around with an anti-love and anti-relationship mindset; that’s not the point here. There are those rare couples that met at orientation 20 years ago and are happily married today. If you happen to connect with someone that respects you and truly makes you happy, then go for it. The moral of this story is to simply take your time.

By: Adjoa Bruce | Image: Source

A great first date can easily take a turn -- from awful table etiquette to a sloppy first kiss; sometimes it just hits you that under those dark locks and the six pack, he may be a different guy than you knew when you met. When he shows his true colors -- smacking when he eats, spitting on the sidewalk or terrible misuse of grammar -- will you realize you’re the perfect match or that you’re on opposite ends of the spectrum? Weighing in on the moment of clarity, the “perfect until” moment, are several college students as they recount an experience where reality and perception clashed.

You realized he didn’t respect you
No one wants to feel uncomfortable on a date when her beau finds it more important to socialize than to pay attention to his girl. “We went out in public and everything was about him and being the cool guy,” said Caytlyn S., 19. “[He knew] EVERYBODY, and I felt like he didn’t even know I was there anymore because he was so busy saying hi to so many people.”

Generally, people want to feel special and like they are the only person their lover has eyes for. For some people, a partner who’s got a bad case of flirtation is just a deal breaker, and Leandra M., 21, said it just wasn’t worth it when she “realized he was a big flirt and selfish.”

Infidelity often has this way of clearing the fog. “He was perfect until he cheated on me,” said Elizabeth G., 21. Sometimes you just don’t see that coming, and realizing that your partner’s been with someone else isn’t the most pleasant way of coming to realizing that you shouldn’t be with him.

“I realized he controlled every move I made,” said Elisabeth H., 21. The last place many women want to feel disempowered is in her relationship. Along the same lines, Shelby M., 21, wouldn’t put up with a lack of support for women empowerment: “He laughed at the idea of feminism,” she said.

Sometimes a guy doesn’t let his lady fully express herself. Jessica R., 21, said this about a relationship she had, “He told me to stop singing in the car because it’s annoying.” It was obviously something that she did often and enjoyed doing, but instead of encouraging her to rock out her beau rolled over her feelings.

You noticed that you don’t share the same values
“[People] become too attached and involved too quickly and overlook the problem areas,” said Dr. Van Epp, a relationship expert and the author of "How to Avoid Marrying A Jerk." “Even when you know what to look for in the dating process, you can still be blindsided,” he added when writing about what he calls the “love is blind syndrome.”

When your opinions always seem to be in the shadows, and it’s his way or the highway, sometimes you’ve just got to choose the highway. “I realized how he always felt the need to be right and ‘holier than thou,’” said Lacaya H., 20.

“I realized he loved me more than Christ,” said MaryKate C., 21. For many people who identify as Christians, this would also be a problem as they’re told to put nothing above Christ not even family or a lover.

“Value differences are either unrecognized or ignored in the beginning of most relationships because individuals believe that value differences should not be problematic for individuals who are deeply in love,” wrote author, motivational speaker and psychotherapist Dr. Dwayne L. Buckingham. Why is this such an issue, you may ask? “Well, these differences can be problematic [because] lack of compatible core values will destroy or create distress in your relationship,” Buckingham added.

What should you do with an imperfect man?
First, take steps toward working out your own flaws. Are you the picky eater who tears up her food and fails to use utensils? Are you the awful dancer who can embarrass him by shaking a tail feather everywhere? If you realize that you have idiosyncrasies, you’ll never again have the expectation for anyone else to be perfect.

Second, acknowledge your partner will never be perfect. He could become Mr. Perfect-for-you if you give him a chance and keep him around. Evaluate his less favorable traits, and decide on your deal breakers. A guy who has to have his way may take it down a notch if you stand up to him just once and a guy who flirts with other girls may be acceptable if you mutually agree to an open relationship.

Third, either you accept his flaws or you don’t. Stick by his side and support him as you both strive to mature and become more like the ideal versions of yourself. Or you should let him go, and give him an opportunity to find someone else who will accept every part of him, which will allow you the freedom to find a guy who fully accepts you as well.

Take heed from these CG informants’ hard-earned wisdom to see when it may be time to break off the relationship. But also take heart, you may be able to make it over this road bump too, with just a little introspection. By: Jasmine McCain | Image: Source

Everyone has a past, and most people have a skeleton or two in their closet, but at the end of the day, who doesn’t just want to be loved, baggage and all? When issues from the past are unloaded in a relationship, you’ll have to decide how many carry-ons you’ll accept. CG weighs whether to turn him away or help shoulder the weight.

Mental and Emotional Baggage
Mood swings, trouble with trust or commitment, an unhappy childhood and lying, all fall into the mental and emotional baggage category. One issue alone could be enough to send you running, but if you’re willing to stick it out and he’s willing to work past his issues, the relationship has a chance at survival.

Doug and Naomi Moseley, who run an intimacy training retreat believe that there’s hope despite this kind of baggage. If you beau’s last relationship ended recently, this couple believes that this is something to consider -- the shorter the time, the greater the likelihood that there will be unresolved feelings from his previous involvement. They also urge their participants to “beware of the person who takes no personal responsibility and is primarily focused on the flaws of the ex-partner.” If he isn’t aware of his role (big or small) in the breakup, he’s “blocking or masking and highly likely to recreate the same scenario.”

Financial and Material Baggage
According to Psychology Today, financial incompatibility is the number one reason couples split up. If your guy has a record of financial instability, wants to control your money, is stingy or is overly-materialistic― the relationship will face problems. After college, these problems could manifest as failure to hold onto a job and provide a steady income. According to Joanne, relationship consultant and writer for The Profile Club, the following traits should send alarms ringing: If a guy is continually exhibiting these patterns, Joanne notes that he’s likely “inherently financially unstable,” “superficial,” “controlling” or “he’s using you.” Money can’t buy love, but it sure can tear it apart.

Whether you’ve got a “save the date” reminder stuck in the corner of your mirror or you’ve snagged enough to make a collage, it’s hard to forget it’s the season of “I do’s.” But before you start daydreaming about your own walk down the aisle, stop for a short reality check for a lesson in preparation for what College Gloss hopes will be a lifetime with someone special.

With social media becoming more intertwined with everyday life, it seems inevitable that it will start to encroach on life outside of the internet and begin to affect personal life, especially relationships. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram are becoming increasingly popular; Facebook alone has over 1.01 billion active users to date! With the ease of posting and tweeting, how one chooses to express and use each platform is to their own discretion, but be aware of the possible consequences. College Gloss polled 25 college men, ages 19-23, about their opinions of social media and its effects on their past and present relationships. Read on to see what they had to say...

A Picture is Worth a Million Words

“My girlfriend and I have been together for over three years and sadly enough the majority of our fights are instigated from Facebook. She looks at one picture and always assumes the worst. Can’t I take pictures with friends who are girls?!” - Ryan, 22

Posting pics to social media sites seems like a simple enough matter, especially because smart phones have made it so easy. But don’t discount the harm they can do when BFs or GFs see these thoughtlessly posted selfies. Pictures do speak a million words so be sure to respect both sides of the field to avoid a fight. Don’t assume the worst when looking through photo galleries, and be sure to respect him when taking pictures with other people.

• Has a Facebook picture ever started a fight in your relationship? 76 percent of people polled said yes.

Who She is ‘Liking’

“When a girl is constantly “liking,” “favoriting” or commenting on a guy’s posts, it definitely shows clear signs of flirting.” - Mark, 23

Remember that anyone can see posts and likes. Be respectful and considerate when retweeting and commenting with someone. While a comment may have friendly and innocent intentions, it has the possibility to be interpreted differently.

• Have you ever gotten jealous of who a girl was posting to? 80 percent said yes!

Airing Dirty Laundry

“What she chooses to post is her own business, but making the flaws in our relationship public is not cool.” - Maxwell, 21

While Twitter can be great way to vent to the world, keep private matters private. Not only does a boyfriend not want to find out about his girlfriend’s annoyance with his lazy ways via a tweet, most of their followers don’t want to either!

• Has your girlfriend ever aired your dirty laundry via Facebook/Twitter? 64 percent said yes.

Tweeting the Day Away

“My last girlfriend would constantly tweet her every last move. It was so annoying that we couldn’t just go out to lunch without all of her followers knowing where we were and what we were eating.” - Jacob, 22

• Would you choose to not see a girl again because of her use of social media? 48 percent said no.

Whether it is the first date or the twentieth, put the phone away! Having a phone out shows that there are more important people and conversations than the guy sitting across the table.

There is no doubt that social media has become a prominent part of daily life, but don’t let it have a negative side effect. To avoid an unneeded fight, the key is to use it in moderation and be respectful of one another; Facebook should not be invited to a dinner and status updates should not take priority during a movie a date.

By: Marina Tomao | Image: Source