Single Girl & the City: The Commitment Category

I'm not sure whether I would classify this as being unfortunate or fortunate.  Guys don't look at me and see the girl they could have for right now or the girl they can just have a good time with; they look at me and see commitment. Understandably, at this age, not many guys I know are looking for a commitment. However, what they fail to realize is that I'm not looking to put a ring on your finger! I'm not looking to tie you down! In fact, even though I aspire to find true love one day, even I am somewhat afraid of being committed to having a long term relationship.

Earlier this summer, I met John through one of my best friends. We started texting, which led to talking on the phone, Facebook wall posts, and eventually him having feelings for me. He told my best friend that he felt like we had an awesome connection. He had everything I was looking for; he was sweet, caring, nice, smart, ambitious, and a family man (which isn't a requirement, but is a plus). However, for some reason, I wasn't interested! What was wrong with me? How could I have been complaining about being single, then finally find someone who was interested AND had met many of my desires yet not feel anything? I realized I was scared of having a guy constantly text me, call me, and ask about me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not used to this sudden rush of attention or because something inside of me just isn't ready to commit.

He eventually realized I wasn't that interested and our contact with each other lessened. Now, I barely hear from him. The point of this story is, that I've been told I am the long commitment type. The type of girl a guy eventually might want to marry. However, this summer, I realized that I'm not ready for a commitment. I do want to have my freedom and meet guys, go on dates, and you know, live up my youth and college years. Yet, since I'm the commitment type, guys who are not looking for anything serious don't even want to try getting to know me.

Ironically, during my government class, my teacher was talking about a scandal. She mentioned how the mistress of a certain senator was just the girl "you have a a good time with." She then told us, "You don't want to be the girl that guys just have a good time with. You want to be the one that they marry. The ones who are just there for a good time never last long."  Of course I want to be the girl who guys consider to be the marrying type... eventually. But right now, as a college student, this status I should be proud of isn't getting me anywhere.

Help, please?

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  1. i think you were just not interested in "John," despite his good qualities.

  2. I have to agree with the commenter above me. It seems like it was a combination of not being into him and not ready for a relationship.

    I don't think you should stress about being a commitment girl. If you really just want to have fun, then have fun. You got to put yourself out there. If the guys who you want to hang out with aren't giving you the time of day because of the person they think you are, show them differently.

  3. I totally understand you. Same happens to me. Including my ex, he's amazing and i'm always saying he's perfect for me as he always says that i'm perfect for him. But we don't want to commit that's why he's my ex, we are both the type of person you could end you could end up getting marry to eventually, but that's eventually and not now. Now we both want to have fun and go out and meet people.

    Maybe you are just not ready to commit and you don't have to be. Someday you will and it's gonna be fine. So far just take life as it comes and meet a lot of people, don't think about relationships.


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