Dating a guy who’s too overprotective?

He always wants to know where you are, he gets angry if you hang out with a guy (including your childhood BFF!) he goes through your texts and accuses you of flirting with other guys. It seems as if you’re dating a CIA agent who could find out exactly where you are, and who you’re with, with the snap of his fingers. Does this sound familiar? If so, then you’re dating a over the top, protective guy.

They start out nice – with their dazzling personality and charm. It seems like he will always be loyal to you, and the relationship will remain in that perfect, honeymoon stage. But over time, imperfections come to the surface – the trust may begin to slip. If he sees a guy writing on your wall, or you go to a party together and you say hey to an old friend, he starts to doubt you.

You feel as if you’ve given him the reigns of the relationship, the control. And if you let it go on too far, it can get out of hand. So to help you lovely ladies gain some of that much needed control again, I’ve compiled some tips to get homeboy to calm the heck down.

Set Limits:

You need to talk to him and tell him what you like and what you don’t like. If you simply just let him walk all over you, then that’s the way it’s going to be. Right from the start, you need to be yourself and speak your mind. If you don’t like something then tell him! Let him know that it’s not okay for him to go through your texts, it’s not alright for him to get jealous at every little thing, and make you lose guy friends just because you’re dating him. Sure, a little jealously is normal but if you find that you’ve lost all control of the situation, and he’s carrying the upper hand in the relationship – all the time, then you need to sit him down and set some limits. Let him know that how he’s acting isn’t right, and if he doesn’t change, then you’re just going to have to make things change yourself. And granted, he won’t like it very much.

Talk to him about his past, there may be serious trust issues there:
I once dated a guy whose previous girlfriend had cheated on him, so when we began dating, right from the start, it was obvious that he had trouble trusting girls. He would go through my phone, message my close guys on Facebook to stop talking to me and go overboard when I even talked about another guy. I tried talking to him about it, because at the time I didn’t know about his previous girlfriend. After he opened up to me, I understood where he was coming from a bit, but it wasn’t enough to let him off the hook. I explained to him that I’m not that girl, just because she cheated doesn’t mean that I was about to run off and do the exact same. With time, by letting him see that I wasn’t that kind of girl, the trust began to grow and the over protectiveness began to subside.

If it gets way too much, and he just won’t stop, then let him go:
If you’ve tried everything you can – you’ve talked to him, you’ve reassured him and he still won’t let up, then you maybe fighting a lost cause. Some guys are just that way, nothing you can do will ever change them. Over the years, something major may have stopped him from trusting not only girls, but anyone. If that’s the case then all you can really do is move on. It’s not fair for both of you to be in a relationship where trust isn’t there. We’ve all heard that trust is everything, and it’s so true. If he walks all over you and invades on every aspect of your life, then the two of you are not in a healthy relationship. You end up caving in, losing friends because of him, and generally becoming afraid of everything you do, because you feel like you’re constantly doing something wrong. If that keeps happening, you need to get out of the relationship! At that point, you’ve become weak, and girl, you’re better than that!

Ladies, got any good tips for containing an overprotective guy?

By Sarah Kester | Photo:

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  1. Its a difference between overprotective and controlling. This type of guy sounds controlling me to me.

  2. It's about guys who are "too, over the top overprotective," But yes, there are definitely guys out there who take it to the next level with controlling. I just wanted to give examples because there are tons of girls who have to deal with guys who are overprotective and controlling, and it sucks!

  3. Wow, i feel like this is why ive been messing up, sometimes if you love someone, you gotta give them their space


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